When Lydia was alive I made decisions that the medical professionals wouldn't have. Let me explain. When she was 8 months old she was diagnosed with severe damage to her lungs (called bronchiactisis). This had occurred because due to her low muscle tone she was drinking and silently aspirating (swallowing & it going into her lungs). When this … Continue reading I am now that mom
There is no timetable and no one can tell you how to go about it...you just do. Step by step, day by day.
Signs. Signs to know she is here, listening, loving and wrapping her arms around me.
The waves of grief hit. And hit hard. But I'm thankful.
I've had this in draft for almost 2 months wondering if I should post. I read a quote that resonated with me..."When you come out of a storm you won't be the same person that walked in...that's what a storm is about." So here I am relating to the door on a house. Some people like the color of my door and some don't. But it was my storm, my door - my house.
I say goodbye again. A reminder of my child now gone is that I no longer need my village.
The silence of grief is sometimes deafening. The reality of year two is painful.
Mother's day is a holiday like none other now that she is gone. I will forever miss her. All of her.
I recently read that sometimes during the grieving process we bury ourselves with things to help us from remembering our loved ones are gone. While we know they are we are distracted with activities or something big to preoccupy our minds and try to help fill the void we have in our hearts. I thought about … Continue reading Trying to hide
There are risks to a lot we do in life. Driving a car. Flying in a plane, or taking a particular medicine. The risks to losing Lydia were great and my head understood them but what I've come to realize my heart did not.